By my senior year of high school, I had seen the movie “Easy Rider” with Peter Fonda, Dennis Hopper and Jack Nickalaus numerous times. Several of my friends and I had started a cult following of types for the film, and we discussed various aspects of it often and in detail. I even got the fringed leather jacket that Hopper wears in the film and wore it regularly and proudly. It was a symbol of things to come, of the counter culture message I took from the movie and of our dream, the outline of how I wanted live my life from then on – in complete freedom from societal norms, and pressures, and materialism. The fact that enough marijuana is smoked during that movie to supply a large Amsterdam “coffee shop”, or the fact that Fonda and Hopper engage in a drug deal to fund their freedom ride really was not the focus or the central meaning of the film for me. No – REALLY – it wasn’t – I cannot speak for the other members of this small fan club, however.
My friends and I made a pact that if each of us did not get out and make our own freedom rides, our explorations of America’s hidden highways and byways, that we would plan a trip together when we got “really old”, say 25 or 30. That pact was not held up between us, but as I think about the friends involved, I realize that most in fact did allow themselves to ramble about in search of themselves, or meaning, or a definition of freedom that worked in their lives. Some of these friends found that their “walkabouts,” like mine, ended up being circular journeys that brought them back to the starting point. Perhaps they learned, as I did, that it’s not necessarily where you are but who you are, and who you surround yourself with that counts. Others found what they were seeking in different geographical locations and took up roots in various parts of the country: from small, remote mountain towns in Colorado to larger and busier cities on the west coast, to the warm flat ocean kissed call of Florida coastal cities.
I was reminded of these friends and of our pact recently when I heard the President state that “The American Dream is in peril,” in his recent state of the union address. He called it the America Dream. And I began to wonder which dream he was speaking about. Before I go any further, let me just make it clear that I am not, nor do I claim to be a political writer. It takes approximately two to three minutes of being involved in, or even nearby to, a political discussion of any type until I feel my stomach start to tighten and my head begin to ache. I think this is because most of these discussions, at least the ones I have been privy to, involve a great deal of talk about opinions, and what “should” be done, and, frankly, I find these conversations extremely tedious, negative, and pointless. It seems we have a glut of folks in this country who love to talk about what “should” be done, and very few taking steps to do anything – and this tendency appears to have grown far beyond the political arena. It is really just complaining without getting involved – and that really bores me.
Which brings me back to the question of the elusive, evidently dying American Dream. What is it? Is it the same for all of us? One of the powerful questions asked to me along the road of self-improvement and goal making was “If you could do anything you wanted, and money and time were not an issue, what is it you would be doing?” Isn’t that a really good question? After someone has answered, the response is always the same: “Then why aren’t you doing it?” Money and time always seem to be the biggest blocks for me, and it turns out they are for most people. But those two things are not completely uncontrollable – we have some power and decision making abilities to change and manipulate our time and finances enough to do the things we really want to do – if we identify those things and if we truly want to do them. And for me, the fact that time and money – two things that can be controlled – are the biggest roadblocks for most people in our country proves that the American Dream is still alive, well, and attainable. We just need to give a personal definition of the dream, and then prioritize our time and money to reach our dreams.
I have been teaching some classes at a local college over the last year, and I see many young people “and some older people,” who have defined their dream and are going after it by taking classes and getting closer to their goals. They inspire me more than they know. I sat in these same classrooms 14 years ago when I decided to become an addictions counselor, and I am honored to be a part of the process for these students. They are making it happen, just like I did. They found the time and the money to get themselves into college. They made it a priority. And I know that for many of my students it is very difficult to be there – much more difficult than it was for me. Some are single parents, working two or three jobs, and using public transportation to get back and forth to the college. I see them at the bus stop after classes – often in the cold, or rain. Their heavy book bags are full of textbooks and work to do, some have shopping bags near their feet full of groceries from the nearby grocery store, and often they are on the phone coordinating the night for their families or telling the baby sitter that the bus is late and they will be home as soon as they can. These students – these strong, brave, courageous people are going after their American Dreams. And I pray and hope that each of them will reach it. I have a feeling each of them will because they will not stop until they reach the goal.
Hard work. Persistence. Prioritizing. Patience. All key ingredients to success in our country. And as I review my life and humble successes, I see where each of these things has played a role. Many people I talk to think that things have become too easy for us as a culture. Even more people seem concerned that this ease of living is having a negative impact on our youth, that somehow technology is teaching young people that they can have anything and everything without really having to work for it, or to utilize any of the ingredients to success I mentioned before. I get the point of this argument, but I question its validity for ALL of our future leaders and decision makers. I think that life, and success, and goal achievement have not really changed that much, even with newer technology. If anything this technology should have raised the bar of what can be achieved. Look around you – we have amazing, wonderful, inventions and tools at our finger tips which are extremely efficient for time management and production. The inventions in and of themselves are not good or bad for our culture – and I believe they hold unlimited potential for people to reach their goals and to find success.
I’ve been to a few foreign countries in my life time, and each experience taught me how much we have and how much we take for granted here in America. I am indescribably grateful to have been born here, and to have the opportunities to define and pursue my American Dream. Not all people will have that chance. Many more than you might realize simply do not have the option of determining their own lives. I believe that we, as Americans, have far more opportunities in this area, even with the challenges we face.
Near the end of the movie Easy Rider, Peter Fonda tells Dennis Hopper “We blew it,” and then, without further explanation, goes into a silent funk about the failure of their freedom ride. This is after they reach their intended destination and have what appears to be a great time during the New Orleans Mardi Gras. That line in the movie troubled me for many years, as it did to many of our small cult, and it was a point we debated many times back in those days. The line must have troubled other fans of the movie as well, because I saw an interview with Peter Fonda in which he was asked exactly what the intended meaning was. I won’t tell you what he says, because you may want to watch the film and determine an answer for yourself. But I have an opinion now, and it is same opinion I have about many people I see who set out in search of what they think will be “fun”, or “happiness”, or “success”, or some other goal that defines the American Dream for them. It seems to me that many people spend a great deal of those precious resources I mentioned – time and money – to get to their goal only to find that it was not what they thought it would be. They “blew it”.
Once again I find myself at the 1,500 word point wondering what the point of these words might be. Hopefully they will mean something to you as you define and pursue your own dreams. I have many dreams, and hopes, and goals, but in so many ways I know that each will only be a means to an end – a stepping stone to other achievements, and challenges and new opportunities. I no longer expect complete fulfillment from any one thing, or person, or substance. My greatest fulfillment today comes from the gratitude I can muster at any given point on any given day. And today I will be grateful for America and the countless dreams she offers to us all…
Well stated Brian, the last paragraph says it all… Happiness is the ultimate goal and that’s priceless…. Funny you didn’t mention your moped at all in this blog… hmmm…. Must have slipped your mind….
Bill – Thanks old bud. Good people are priceless, too – like you! That moped was fast – like greased lightning!
Nicely done………..as usual
Crawdaddy – hope the warm winds are blowing and the sun is on your face – 70 degrees here today!
Hector – you’re right – we haven’t! Enjoy your priceless gifts friend – who knew we’d make it this far??
Love this.
Why were you reading my mind? I’ve been wanting to write a book I’ve had in mind for a very, very long time, and I’m starting to get antsy about it… my biggest problems? Time and money. Must’ve said something to husband 10 times in the past two weeks about it driving me crazy.
Also, I am convinced that gratitude is the best medicine for just about anything.
And I don’t think one can really “blow it” until it’s clear everything is over. There are so, so many times in my life when I could have said “Well, I [really, really] blew it..” Those experiences were built upon, however, and I don’t think I would be where I am today if I traded any of them. Everything for a reason – or at least, that’s what I tell myself for sanity’s sake 🙂
Mel – good point about getting up, dusting off, and starting again. I think that is another key to goal completion! Write the book!
My mother always told us “America is the greatest country in the world.”, and I still believe it. She also made it clear the key to success was hard work, never give up, and give thanks each day for what God gave you. I am grateful each day for my life,my health, and especially my wonderful family. God bless!
She also knew the value of a good, ripe banana! Gratitude definitely runs in the family!