Serenity Now!

 
   
 
Be still. Quiet down your mind. Listen more, talk less. Meditate. Concentrate. Remain quiet. Cherish the silence. Almost all principles of living a less stressful and more serene life talk about the benefits of becoming comfortable with silence. Eckhart Tolle, in his book “The Power of Now,” speaks about going to a park everyday and sitting quietly by himself, observing the world around him while he practiced becoming “present.” Most, if not all of the respected and successful spiritual leaders throughout history have emphasized the power of spending time alone, of meditation, or prayer, or peaceful contemplation.
Of all the spiritual principles I have studied, this one in particular has been troublesome for me. I enjoy being alone at times. I take great comfort and find spiritual fulfillment by being alone and surrounded by nature. It is not difficult for me to be by myself for hours, or a few days without becoming depressed, despondant, or deflated. The difficult part has never been being alone, but being truly silent. Quieting my mind. Staying in the moment. Being serene. In many ways, when I am alone, I am with someone who never stops talking. I’m in bad company in this way. Rarely am I enjoying the current moment. In Tolle’s book, that is his goal – to be present. To stay in the the moment. To discover the “Power of Now.” There is rarely a time that goes by in my life when I am not reading up on some facet of self improvement, and this concept “along with the idea of moderation – but that’s another blog” have always been allusive to me.
Why is it so difficult to stay still? Why does the mind wander to the past, or the future so frequently when alone? In my case, it often wanders to the past or future when I am with others as well, but the straying mind is particularly active in times when I am by myself. By the time I have finished mowing the lawn, I have revisited major portions of my life, many of them negative, and I can put myself in a sour mood because of these past harms. Sometimes, if I’m lucky, my mind will take me to the future, or more accurately the perceived future, and instead of resentments over unforgiven wrongs, I dwell in fear of what may come that will cause future pain, resentments, or worse. I have gone to the desperate length of trying to wear my walkman when I mow the lawn, and yes, I meant to say a walkman – I actually have two – one for my cassettes and a higher tech one which plays c.d.’s, although that one skips wildly in the fanny pack I use to hold it as I mow the lawn. There are, unfortunately, several problems with trying to distract my mind by using these items. The first is that my lawnmower, like most of the items around my house, was taken from a “FREE” pile after a moving sale, and when it is running it sounds like a small but sick hover craft, or maybe a small single engine plane with a broken muffler.
For this reason, I have to turn the headphones up so loud during the process, that the ringing in my ears when I am done, along with the fact that I go around yelling at people for two days after is, at best, annoying. Another problem is the look on my wife’s face as I march around the yard with my fanny pack on, trying desperately to walk light footed if I’m listening to the c.d. player so that it does not skip. I am not overly fashion conscious to begin with, and the bright red pack on my hip along with the large spongy earphones “also from a FREE pile,” cause my wife to either remain in the house during my mowing, or to walk from flower bed to flower bed, tending to her weeding, looking like a Martha Stewart magazine model and glancing occasionally my way with a sad forlorn look that says ” I really thought he’d learn by now”. But, again, that is the topic of a whole different blog. Perhaps the worst problem with my technique of trying to distract my mind is that by doing so, I am not dealing with the problem directly. I am not trying to form better habits in being mindful, being present. I am living in distraction.

And distraction is a way for life for many. How many hours a day does the average American watch television? How many hours in the car are spent listening to the radio? As a society, we are moving closer to constant distraction in our lives and further away from honoring silence. More and more often we read stories about drivers involved in accidents because they were talking or texting on cell phones. The number of channels on television grows each year. Computers offer unlimited access to a myriad of information to keep us distracted in our daily lives. We are busy people, an ever growing hive of activity, but is our business helping our inner growth, our sense of peace of mind, being comfortable with ourselves?

It doesn’t seem like it is. I heard someone say recently that they were not interested in peace of mind as much as they need peace from mind. I liked that phrase. Does your mind generate peace or distraction? Are you able to be alone and enjoy the company you are in? When is the last time you went for a week, or a weekend, or a day, or even a few hours without letting outside distractions into your life? When is the last time you attempted to sit quietly for any amount of time? Would you say that you are controlling your mind, or that your mind is controlling you?

Here is my challenge for this week. It is simple. Next time you get into your car and are by yourself, turn off the radio for the entire trip. Keep track of your thoughts and see how often you are traveling to the past or to the future. Turn off your cell phone as well. Don’t worry, you can check the messages as soon as you get to your destination. But make an effort to ride in silence today. When you get home, do not turn the television on for at least two hours. Do not go on your computer, or turn on the radio, or even make a telephone call during that time. If this seems impossible, try it for an hour, or for a half hour to begin. Remember, the point of this challenge is to track where your mind is taking you. Are you staying present? Are you thinking about the past? Are you planning for the future? Where is your mind leading you?

Next week, I’ll talk about what using the information you have found about your mind to help you stay focused, stay present, and most importantly, to take control over your mind. I really hope that some people take this challenge over the next week. You can reply to this email to let me know how it is going, or you can email me directly: bsfarr@juno.com. Good luck!

 

 

 

 

 

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