Since the presidential elections last November, I’ve been doing my best to make lemonade with the countless lemons that keep raining down from the White House. As a person in long-term Recovery from addiction, a substance abuse counselor, and a professor of Addictions Studies, I’m well aware of the wisdom of The Serenity Prayer to keep myself sane and sober in this brave new world where accepting the lemons I cannot change is recommended to keep relapse (and complete despair) away.
But having the courage to determine the lemons I might change in this odd new reality is tricky. Because I’m not a politician, and was quite happy to leave all and any political decisions to those people who had distinguished themselves in this arena by long, successful civil careers which had proven their competence in government and a strong devotion to keeping up the American values of liberty and justice for all.
Maybe I was fooling myself all these years, staying blissfully ignorant that all was not well. If you had told me five years ago that the narcissistic real estate tycoon from that reality show would be running America, I would have waited for the punchline to the joke. But it’s not funny at all anymore. And I think it’s time to stop drinking all of this bitter lemonade while painting on a fake smile and pronouncing “We’re probably going to be fine. Someone will fix this soon.” Because one of the things I’m an expert on is the deadly and destructive power of this denial-think, especially when it becomes collective. All active addictions require denial to thrive and survive. In my experience, nobody is better at picking out liars and deniers than a person in recovery from any addiction. Because that’s how we kept ourselves sick, insisting the entire time that we really weren’t as bad as we seemed, or that this was all in good fun, or that we would certainly straighten up our acts starting first thing tomorrow. Everyone who opened up these liar’s lemonade stands in the land of addiction knew how to get the bitter taste out of our deceptive drinks by adding some sugar before we served it up to those around us.
Which brings me to the most current cocktail being served up from Washington about how to stop the opioid (and addiction) epidemic in America. The positive part about this new drink is that it’s on the market at all! Having devoted the majority of my waking hours on this planet for the last two decades trying to address issues of addiction and assisting people in getting help, I’m extremely grateful to have our elected representatives officially recognize that there is a huge, devastating, deadly disease impacting every corner of our society. I’m sure you’ve heard the old adage about the first step to solving any problem being an acknowledgment of its existence, so kudos to Donald & Co. for doing just that.
Professionally, I also commend him for talking about his brother’s struggle and eventual death from alcohol and nicotine addiction. As I listened to Trump speak about this, I swear I heard a collective groan (or maybe it was a growl) from America’s alcohol industry that has served up the sweetest concoctions of lies about the oldest and most destructive drug in our country’s history. By sharing his personal story, and the decision to “just say no” when it came to alcohol and cigarettes, Trump effectively (and most likely completely inadvertently) challenged the long-held and deeply deceptive marketing slogan of every alcoholic beverage in America. The deadly lie that drinking is completely safe as long as a person is strong enough to drink responsibly. No alcohol company has acknowledged the disease of addiction, knowing full well that if they ever did, their whole hard lemonade stand of cards would begin to tilt precariously toward the abyss of truth. They learned this from the cigarette companies which already collapsed into that void a few decades ago when a few fearless whistleblowers from inside the smoky corporate lair released documents stating that the intent of the tobacco industry was always to get people addicted, and the younger their consumers (our kids) started smoking, the better. It’s now coming out that pharmaceutical companies raked in billions of dollars and fueled the flames of opioid addiction by claiming that their specific pill-forms of opiates were not in fact addictive, and were quite harmless for the treatment of any and all pain. The ingredients for this brand of poisonous powdered lemonade (just add water) were blatant lies combined with huge political campaign contributions and good ole American greed. After decades of legal and lethal drug-dealing, our government has finally been forced to question the role of some of their favorite and largest donors.
So I’m amazed that the majority of Americans seem happy to sit back and gulp up the exact same lies about trying to get our kids hooked on drinking and to keep them addicted for life. I’m even more astonished that Trump was so open and, yes, even honest about the dangers of alcohol and alcoholism and how the disease of addiction killed his older brother. In the Recovery Movement, we know that one of the strongest, most powerful tools we have in combating addiction is speaking up about the pain and loss that addiction always causes. Silence equals more death, and nothing works to change hearts and minds more than hearing courageous people stand up and refuse to be quiet about the heartbreaking losses that addiction has caused in their lives. So thank you for that, Mr. Trump.
During his comments, Donald stated that he just could not understand how his brother, or any of the countless other business associates he’s known over the years, couldn’t simply stay away from the next drink. That, in essence, these people seemed unable to “drink responsibly”. He went on to talk about his big, groundbreaking ideas to stop the deaths from opioids. Although no additional money was offered, he suggested a brand new “Just Say No” campaign that would make his idol, Ronald Reagan, very proud.
I give Donald credit here for saying that he doesn’t understand why people can’t stop themselves. For a man who usually claims to know everything, this was another honest statement. And if I had him across from me in a counseling setting as a family member of an alcoholic, I would ask him why he can’t just stop the tweets, especially the ones that seem to do him more harm than good in his current vocation. Or why he has struggled to remain monogamous in so many romantic relationships over the years, even though these infidelities damaged marital, familial, and ethical vows. Because clinically, both of his favorite behaviors are addictive. They tweak and manipulate the same brain chemicals that any psychoactive substance (drug) does. And Trump’s seeming inability to stop himself from doing these things, even though there have been many negative consequences from the addictive behaviors, is a hallmark of his own tendency towards addiction. Which makes sense, because addiction runs in his family. It’s a disease with a proven genetic component (people with a blood relative who suffered from addiction are about 4 times more likely to abuse a substance or engage in addictive behaviors).
So he didn’t really “just say no” to addiction, he just substituted addictive behaviors for the alcohol and nicotine that he saw destroy his brother’s life. But Donald doesn’t understand that, just like so many other Americans don’t. Because America has never, ever, honestly faced the real question of why we switch our brand of addictive lemonade every time people suffer and die from buying and drinking these toxins. The collective denial is that limiting or stopping the use of one substance or behavior will fix the problem. And that thinking doesn’t work. Because it’s a lie.
I can’t accept this national deception and denial any longer, even though I’m not personally drinking the lemonade anymore. The Serenity Prayer asks me to have courage to change the things I can, but after twenty years of teaching and preaching and shouting into what seems like deafening white noise about why our kids are suffering and dying because of this disease, I’m getting a bit hoarse and very discouraged to see the lies and denial continue. And recently I realized a huge truth about America that I will leave you to ponder. We have come to believe that we need addiction. That’s why these substances and behaviors that continue to torment and tear us down are not just promoted in our country, they’re actually required. All of our personal addictions are required to feed the largest, ugliest, and most destructive addict in America – the Greed Beast of our economy that will always want more and will lie, cheat, steal and kill any of us to keep the money coming in.
Sugar, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, marijuana, opiates, and benzodiazepines are all huge (and legal) money makers. Gambling, pornography, eating disorders, shopping, television (and online browsing), texting (and tweeting), and video games all bring in billions of dollars each year. And every one of these things effects the addictive parts of our brain the same way. Quitting or outlawing or just saying no to one thing and then picking up another is like getting out of one highly dysfunctional relationship and then starting to date someone just as toxic the next day. It won’t work. It’s old lemonade in a new glass. But the most gluttonous people in our country and their new King Donald are more than willing to sacrifice their citizens to keep feeding the insatiable appetite of the Greed Beast. So the lies and the deaths and the “just say no” policies will continue, while we all drink the substituted forms of addiction, becoming sicker and more submissive with each sip.
What’s the answer? It’s easy, really. But so is putting any addiction (or other chronic illness) into remission. The answer is simple, but the application takes tremendous effort and life-long commitment. Break though the denial and treat the disease. Admitting we’re sick is a great first step, but we can’t stop there. We need to start detoxing from ALL the addictions I mentioned above. The Greed Beast and his keepers won’t like this, because our collective Recovery will cut off their addiction to huge amounts of money and profits, and that will put them all into a most uncomfortable withdrawal. But that uncomfortability is required in treating any addiction, and it will force a motivation to find new ways and means to make money. Healthier ways to turn profits that support and benefit their consumers.
Am I a dreamer? Maybe. But I’m not the only one. 23 million Americans are living awesome, sober lives (probably a few more, but some are afraid to come out yet). It’s estimated that for every addicted person, a minimum of four other lives are deeply and personally impacted, so that would give our country roughly 92 million friends and family members who have seen the destructive power of addiction and have also entered Recovery. We’ve all begun to stop feeding the Beast, and we refuse to be silent anymore. Want to end the opioid and addiction epidemic in America? Then join us…
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN!!!!!
I too was pleasantly surprised to hear our leader talk about his brother and addiction. Surprisingly honest. Once again he put himself above the ordinary person who he sees as weak. Excellent questions about his drugs of choice, tweaks, and relationships. However, when you are king, people rarely tell you you have no clothes on. Once again thanks for showing the naked truth.
Early in his speach he mentioned repealing the Medicaid IMD Exclusion. I so hope he meant this. There are so many laws that actually make it harder to get treatment. The speach started strong, then rambled on. The advising committee was made up of true experts who care. Let’s hope they are given the powr to make the changes.
Wow! There is a lot to “unpack” in your amazing article. I will save it and reread. Nice work Brian. Thank you for all you do for the recovery community.